Dear Trainer.....please, look away lest you read and punish me with extra dips, squats and lunges.  

So my goal here in my writings is not to put on a show and make it seem like this thing is all smooth sailing.    My goal was and is to truthfully document my journey - that includes the good, the bad and the extremely ugly.    

Now, let me paint you a picture.    Yesterday.   Me, sitting at my desk in my office.    Mud Pie cake sitting on the counter in kitchen.     Really, do I have to keep painting?      I was able to overcome this horrible temptation for hours.   I kept telling myself, "you just lost 7 pounds on vacation, can you not pass up some 2 day old cake?".

I caved.    It was about 3 bites.....right out of the pan even.

Now I have to ask myself why questions.    Why did I feel the need to take those 3 bites?   The cake wasn't even incredible (sorry, Daryl) - I'm not even a cake person!   I could maybe understand piping hot french fries, sushi or sour cream and onion potato chips.....but cake?    Why was I able to hold myself back for hours but then cave in?   Why did I take the 2nd bite?  The 3rd bite?    

Here's the deal.   I took 3 bites.   It's over, I'm moving on.    I went on and ate my planned meal and decided for the rest of the day that I would not eat cake.

For this situation, I can apply a phrase that we use what seems like every 5 minutes in recovery:   

It's not how you fall, it's how you get up.....get up right!

Some people may scoff at me and say, "come on....3 bites of cake?  it's not going to kill you"  or they may say, "you have to let yourself have a few treats, otherwise you'll go crazy".       I'm not going to entirely disagree with those statements.    However, that mentality got me to the weight that I was before I started this journey......THAT IS NOT WORKIN' FOR ME.      For this season of my life, I need to understand that 3 bites of cake can compromise all the things I've been working towards.    3 bites of cake may not kill me, but it's the first step towards a road that will.      Agree or disagree, but this is where I sit on it.

As we say, it's not how you fall, it's how you get up.  Sometimes you get up and you learn a lesson.   Sometimes, you get up and you get back on the right path.    For me - in this little indiscretion - getting up "right" was having an attitude of, "ok, I had an indiscretion....now, what do I have planned for my next meal?"    I still have my why questions......which I don't feel any closer to answering today, but I will continue to ponder.

So let me turn the tables and ask you......Is there an area where you are falling and not choosing to get up right (i.e. learn the lesson or get back on the right path)?    Let's purpose to stop the actions that keep us down and make the right choices that put us on the path to growth and healing!!

Thanks for reading....

k