I had a bit of a head smack in the midst of my workout this morning.    It came on the heels of another situation where I was clothes shopping.   In both cases, I had a certain "perception" of myself that turned out to be wrong.    The perception may have been truth at some point, but now - it is no longer true.

Let me explain....

When I started working out on purpose, I had to do wall push-ups because I had the upper body strength of a rag doll.    Wall push-ups, people.........embarrassing!     I graduated to a verrry high bench push up, then to a regular bench push-up until I went down to the floor for "girl" push-ups.     I've been rockin' girl push-ups for awhile now.....I feel pretty confident in them and I can do a pretty good number of them at one time.    But I promise you, since I've been doing girl push-ups, I just knew that I could NOT do a boy push-up if my life depended on it.    So I just stayed in happy girl push-up land.     My perception was that I was not strong enough to do them.....so I kept myself in the girl push-up box.  

Until today.

Something told me......just try it.     So I did.     And I did 10 freakin' boy push-ups!    Now I will say that they most likely lacked any decent form and there were very strange noises that accompanied.    But it's a start.....I can no longer keep myself confined to the girl push-up box.

The second situation has to do with clothes shopping.     I broke down and had to buy a few new items....I mean, good grief - I'm having a little issue with clothes these days!     So the first thing I do is gravitate toward the size I see myself as.....the size I've been for a long, long time.    And then I remember.....I'm supposedly smaller now, right?     So I grab something 2 sizes smaller.....I look at it and I think, "no WAY....this is too small for me".    I can't even get my mind around it.....so I grab the next size up.    I try on.   It's too big.   So I go back to the size I thought was too small....it fits comfortably - almost a little too comfortably.      I have had a really hard time perceiving myself as anything other than what I've been for the last number of years.    That perception is no longer true.

So I'm asking myself.    In what other areas of my life have I placed a perception "ceiling"?     Where am I holding myself back due to a collection of false mindsets?      It's awkward to challenge our thoughts.....to challenge the way we've thought  for years (or in some cases all our life).    I think sometimes I don't challenge my thoughts because I'm afraid.....afraid of failure.....afraid I will be wrong, which makes me not good enough.     That's a hard course to change when you are.......ahem......more mature in age.     But, I want to.     And where I don't want to, I pray that I would be willing to.     And where I am rebellious......well.......I'm just thankful I have a few butt-kickers in my life and we'll just leave it at that.

Challenge your thoughts.....do it afraid.....do it un-perfectly.  

Thanks for reading!



ps - I want to thank those of you who reached out to me (both publicly and privately) after my last post, "Broken".    It wasn't the easiest post to write - it took me a few days to actually do it.   Sometimes I don't really care to be transparent in my struggles.   However, I know that when we share our mess, God will use it for His message.   That was never more clear to me after receiving many private messages of those who have also been struggling.    Thanks so much for sharing with me....it means a great deal to know that I'm not by myself in this journey!!  I am thankful to say that since I wrote my last post, I have been feeling so much better....more at peace with where I'm at.   I feel the hope that I AM going to keep moving forward even with my temporary stop at "unable to function junction".