You can ask any one of the girls in my group...I'm always challenging them to ask the "why" questions. Why do you do that? And most of the time, the answer to the first "why" question will beg another "why" question. It's sort of annoying, but when you earnestly seek the answers to the "why" questions, you can get to the root and begin to address some of the problems in your life.

For me, I've been asking some tough "why" questions for a few years. Especially in regards to eating. For a long time, I avoided the why questions and used justification tactics. Those worked reallllly well to keep me in denial of any problems that I had. I can give you a great example of this, one I laugh really hard about now. I remember after I gave birth to Abby I was nursing her. My eating was out of control. My mom, lovingly attempted to address that with me and my response to her was, "Mom, I'm nursing...I NEED this extra 'nutrition'". Baaahahahahah!! WOW. Welcome to justification junction.

Over the last 3 years, my unhealthy eating and thought patterns have improved in "layers". I honestly can't believe how many layers there have been and I'm wondering how many layers are left to go. Can't really worry about that one, doing so would hinder my progress. I can say that each layer has been a season of growth and overcoming. Some of the layers took longer to peel back thanks to my own rebellion and stubbornness -- *sigh*. But the layer peeling usually begins with the why questions.

Being on vacation this week has prompted me to ask the toughest why questions yet, ones that will hopefully peel off the next layer for me. Not being in my little controlled environment with all my food and all my support mechanisms and people in place has challenged the layer that currently exists. And of course, I have a choice -- I can choose to let this refine me or I can choose to let the layer sit for another season. Hello Big Jim Walker....

I'm looking forward to sharing some of the why questions I'm encountering...next time!

Until then, I challenge you to ask yourself a "why" question....you never know, it might just change your life!

k

This is usually what happens to me when I go on vacation....I get ideas.    And usually there's just enough time to carry them out.     So welcome to my latest idea....

"Tuggin'" is going to be my place to process the changes I'm making and the thought processes, struggles, victories and failures that go along with them.    Really, I thought about calling this blog, "Letters to my Trainer" because he is the one who usually gets all my brain dumps - now he can have a break and my thoughts will be available for all the world!    You are free to leave or read on....the choice is yours.  

I've been on "the plan" now since February of this year....so far, I've made some pretty awesome changes.   I've dropped some weight (50+ pounds), did an overhaul on the family eating plan and found out that I can push alot more weight in the gym than I thought.  

But I have attempted to make changes in the past.....why is it different this time?     Will I be able to sustain this "plan" and make it my lifestyle?    I argue that I can and I will.     This time, my changes come on the heels of YEARS of personal work in the area of recovery.     If you know anything about this girl, you know that I am devoted to the ministry of Celebrate Recovery.   Not only have I gone through the program as a participant, now I have the honor of walking alongside others on their road to recovery as a step study leader.    I have learned so much in the last 3-4 years and now I'm applying that knowledge to this area of my life.  

If I had to boil down all that I've learned in recovery - I could do it in one point:

1.   I get to choose.

Sorry.....I wish it was more complicated than that.   I get to choose my thoughts, I get to chose if I stick something in my mouth, I get to choose how I process my emotions, I get to chose how I'm going to handle my anger, I get to choose if I go 5 more minutes on the treadmill, I get to chose if I'm going to sit on my butt all day.    

I'm so thankful to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior and know the power of the Holy Spirit that lives inside me.    That power enables me to make the right choices I need to make.   I also get to choose to ask the Holy Spirit for that power each day.....    Oh, and sometimes I'm stubborn and rebellious.  *Sigh*   But that's a post for another day.

Back to vacation.......this is really my first vacation since implementing the plan.    And let me tell you, it has not been without lots of temptations.   It's also been a great time to reflect on some of my thought patterns and how I'm "grieving" the food of my past.    More to come on that....

Thanks for taking the time to read....

k